Country Road Take Me Home

So, it's only been over a year since I've last written in this God forsaken blog. Why I even bother to write in it now, I'm not quite sure. But I thought hey, why not? Here goes nothing.

In May of 2013, I packed my air-tight space bags full of clothes, stuffed everything I owned into the trunk and backseat of my small 2008 Chevy Cobalt and moved away from my beloved home for the past year of Citrus Heights, California. I left my best friends, the love of my life, my family and the life I was beginning to fall in love with (minus the terrible job. I was ready for that to be over) behind in the dust. Headed straight for my hometown of Salt Lake City, Utah and never looked back. I moved into the cutest little house in Sugar House, Utah with one of my best friends (even though she left me all summer and moved to Lake Tahoe. Great switch, right?) and started working full time and going to school. Full time.

So here I am, still working full time. Going to school. Full time. But thankfully I'm not still living in my cute little 4 bedroom house with my girl, Kate (we finally moved into our own NICE apartment). Since moving back home, I've reapplied to the University of Utah (Which I got into again, duh), enrolled in full time credit hours like a total boss. All while kicking ass and taking names. I'm working full time as a server/(crappy)bartender at Tucanos Brazilian Grill and it's a definite love/hate relationship. It varies on any given day. (Let's be honest, I'm really moody. It's a good thing my 2 best friends, Kate and Kyle, work there or I would've quit a long time ago. Probably.)

Meet Kate and Kyle

Tucanos Goes Hard for New Years

So blah blah blah, work, school, blah blah blah. Let's get down to the nitty gritty. Because that's the fun stuff. There isn't much to say about Halloween, because it's Halloween. So I'll just throw in some pictures of Kate and myself and show you how good we are at picking out $5 costumes from Walmart.

Halloween Part One

Halloween Part 2

So for Thanksgiving, I had a few choices. Go see my dad in Grand Junction, stay at home by myself and sleep, or fly to Denver with Kate to have Thanksgiving with the Murphy's. Can you guess which one I chose? 

Hashtag No Filter

Did you guess Denver? You did! Good job. Because I chose to fly to Denver with my very best friend to FINALLY meet her family (who I fell in love with, btw) and spend Thanksgiving with a bunch of people I'd never met. Luckily for me, her family is freaking awesome and I felt right at home. Throughout our trip, we went to a (my first) NHL game and watched the Ave's lose, Kate told some people I don't get out in public much, had Thanksgiving with the Grogans, met Kate's dad (where I was awkwardly introduced as Ryan's girlfriend...), went black Friday shopping with Paula, bar hopping with Ryan and completely fell in love with Denver, Colorado. Only to think we were going to miss our flight home because we had the wrong time and didn't check our luggage in like we were supposed to. Good thing we cheated the system and did it while we sat outside. Not to mention, Kyle, being the cutie that he is, emailed us a gift card for Starbucks and told us to travel home safe. (He knows us TOO good. He's so lucky to have two girlfriends.) Unfortunately, we made our flight and had to come home. I was NOT happy about that, because I was NOT ready to leave. Don't worry though, Denver. I'll be back. Sooner than you think! 

Then Christmas rolled around. I spent Christmas Eve working my tail off at Tucanos and then went home and sank on the couch only to watch terribly made Lifetime Christmas movies all night. Luckily for me, I got to go and have lunch at Mi Ranchitos with my favorite little ratchet cousins and go sleep on their couch as we celebrated Ryder's first birthday. Christmas. 

Now I'm probably a really crappy sister for not remembering when it actually happened... but ROBERT IS ENGAGED!! My cute older brother Bob is engaged to be married to the love of his life, Heather. She's a precious little thing and I'm pretty excited to call her my sister. It will be official as of April 12, 2014. They'll be married in the Saint George Temple. I'm so excited for my cute brother because he definitely deserves it, especially after everything we've been through when it comes to family! Heather is adorable and just loves him with all her heart (to be honest, I think I might have intimidated her, because I'm the littlest bit protective of him.) 

MR and MRS ROBERT KANE

Well, April 12th has come and past and those two little lovebirds are officially married and moved to Salt Lake City. Thank goodness, it was a long time coming getting all the kids back to SLC. Their wedding, though small, was perfect. I'm not much of a crier, but I ended up crying much of the day. Not because I was so 'overcome with love,' okay maybe a little, but mainly because I'm jealous and the baby and not used to some other woman having my brothers attention. But if someone is gonna take the spotlight, I'm glad it's Heather. The wedding and reception were beautiful, & it couldn't have turned out better. They did an amazing job planning it! I couldn't be happier for them.

AND I finally completed my life-long dream of joining a sorority. I am a PROUD member of Alpha Phi Beta Sigma and I wouldn't change that for anything in the world. I wasn't blessed with any biological sisters of my own, but boy, did God had bigger things in mind for me. He knew what he was doing when he brought me here. These girls have more heart and soul than anyone I have ever met. There is always someone there to lend a helping hand, pick you up when you're feeling down and willing to grab a 6th piece of pizza with you. I'll be honest, going into Greek life, I was nervous that I wouldn't fit in with any of the girls because I don't come from a wealthy family, I wouldn't be accepted or I wouldn't enjoy it and waste my money. I was dead wrong. I have never, EVER regretted my decision nor will I. Regardless of if any of these girls have wealthy families, we get along and if they didn't, we get along. Acceptance? Instantly. Waste of money? Not a chance. I would do and am doing everything I can to remain apart of this incredible sisterhood. I couldn't imagine my life without these girls. With my dad being 4 hours away, they are my family. They are my support system. They are my study group, my 4pm coffee runs, my vent sessions and my 12am wipe my mascara off my face. These girls are my heart, my college experience, my fashion consultants, my 4th, 5th and 6th closets. My parents didn't give me sisters, but God gave me a lot more.

You're my kind of people and I feel like I'm home 

Permission Granted

Here are 20 things I give myself permission for:

1) I give myself permission to rest.
2) I give myself permission to laugh.
3) I give myself permission to play.
4) I give myself permission to make mistakes.
5) I give myself permission to say "no" to demands on my time that are simply draining.
6) I give myself permission to say "yes" to what I want.
7) I give myself permission to fulfill my lifelong dreams.
8) I give myself permission to ask for what I want.
9) I give myself permission to be who I am.
10) I give myself permission to try again.
11) I give myself permission to have fun.
12) I give myself permission to design my own life.
13) I give myself permission to ignore naysayers.
14) I give myself permission to stay focused on what's important to me.
15) I give myself permission to be whatever body shape I like.
16) I give myself permission to be imperfect.
17) I give myself permission to ask for help.
18) I give myself permission to stop caring what others think of me.
19) I give myself permission to write a lousy first draft.
20) I give myself permission to CREATE.

Words I stole from Someone else

I've been hurt before

and I'm afraid to speak out

What's on my mind.

I believe you're just like me

but, somehow, I know

this time all the magic

Will come true.

This time, it's real. 

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Never think that what you have to offer is insignificant. 

There will always be someone out there that needs what you have to give. 

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I'm not good at relationships

I always manage to find the flaws

Sometimes in Others

But mostly my own.

I foretell the ending

then go and create the cause

save myself

and end up alone. 

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One day you're going to want her back. That girl that knew she wasn't perfect, but tried to be just for you. That girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you, and loving you was the only way she could. The girl who knows your every flaw, but still values them as much as she does your strengths. That girl that still can't bring herself to hate you, even though you probably deserve it. The girl that you should have, but you don't. 

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A heartbreak is a blessing from God. 

It's just his way of letting you realize he saved you from the wrong one

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NEVER allow yourself to become so desperate that you end up settling for far less than you deserve.

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So this is my life, and I want you to know that I'm both happy and sad 

and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

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So I guess we are who we are for a

a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll

never know most of them. But even 

if we don't have the power to choose

where we come from, we can still

choose where we go from there. We

can still do things. And we cant ry to

feel okay about them. 

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Imperfection is beauty

Madness is genius, 

and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. 

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Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are

I'd like to welcome U home...

Recently, I began college at the University of Utah. I thought it was going to be the best thing ever. College. Finally. No more high school. So many people, new friends, new experiences... I was wrong. I thought I was going to love the U. But honestly, I wish I was going somewhere else. Somewhere that is not a commuter school. I want to be a close-knit school where I can meet tons of people all the time. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm very outgoing, but it's still hard to meet people when no body lives here. Stupid commuters. But there's not much that I can do, because I don't really want to transfer schools because of my roommates. However, if I could transfer, I would be headed to the University of Oregon. Darn you out of state tuition! I've decided to major in Mass Communications. I think it's probably due to the TV broadcasting class I took in high school and the positive feedback that I got about newscasting. I really enjoy TV Journalism. It's really fun. However, I would like to do Public Relations. Like, for a sports team or something. That would be so sick. I also think I am going to double major into Speech Communications because well.. if I'm gonna be a super hot tv star, I've gotta know how to speak, right?

On the upside! I have 3 roommates. Rachel, Kate and Jordan. I was really worried to move out and away from my dad and live with people I hardly know. Turns out, it has been one of the best experiences I've ever had. We're all so alike and we get along so well, it's insane! We all pretty much have the same sense of humor. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone in the complex thinks that there is an abusive relationship going on in our apartment due to the fact that everyone screams, "You stupid hooker!" or "Make me something to eat, WOMAN!" with a variety of other names such as stripper, cokewhore, etc. Kate has become one of my best friends. She's like my soul sister. We're pretty much the same person and all we do is laugh when we're with each other. It's cuhhhrazy how alike we are.

A while back, I worked for an assisted living home. Nearly a year and a half. Seriously, I wanted to kill myself. It was terrible. The management was terrible, well... the main nurse. I mean, shouldn't we at least have a first aid kit? So finally after a year and a half, I was able to break free! I was lucky enough to snag two jobs in this economy. Two jobs that I love! Working for the University definitely has it's perks! All my books paid for every semester that I work there? HECK YEAH! That's awesome. So much money saved. Stoked much? The second job is at Express. I was worried about working there because well.. I'm not too fashion forward. Heck, I send pictures of my outfit to my best friend Caitlin just to make sure that I look okay before I go out in public. Sad. I know. Don't judge. But as it turns out, I love it there and I love the people I work with. They're all so great and we get along very well. I guess it makes it a little easier knowing that my roommate knows how to dress so I basically just pick through her closet! haha.

Welp, see ya soon then.